Road Trip, Berner Style!

My dogs seem to think that they are the only dogs on the planet.  Their world up until now has consisted of a house that contains us and a couple of scrawny cats and that's it.  When we pass another dog on our walks, they perk up and stare dumbfounded, like they are viewing an alien spaceship landing.  When we walk past a fence that has a dog barking on the other side, their heads whip around and they search in vain for the phantom demon dog that is obviously out to get them.  Their ears go back and they quicken their pace in fear, with Bodie continuing  to frantically look over his shoulder like the soon-to-be victim in a Hitchcock movie.  I realize that they need some social interaction of the canine variety.  Now that they finally have all their puppy shots they are free to fully realize the  universe outside the laundry-room borders.

I figured that the local dog park might be a bit too much for these babes-in-the-woods, with the large and boisterous dogs that frequent there.  They somehow resemble convicts in the prison exercise yard, sidling up to newcomers with a sniff and a growl that says "Whaddaya in for?"  We may have to work up to that.  But they need to go somewhere where there are new dogs that are under control, and new people to make a fuss over them.

Time for a field trip to PetsMart!

The kids and I figured that would be a great place to start.  Pet-friendly, with dogs on leashes and lots to look at and new things to investigate.  Our local store here in town is usually not crowded and pretty laid-back.  I needed more dog food anyway, so it was the perfect plan.  What could go wrong?

Note to self: never say "what could possibly go wrong."

The kids and I loaded up the pups into the SUV (no small task, since the pups don't really have their sea legs yet) and off to the store we went. It was a Sunday afternoon and I figured there really wouldn't be too much going on there.  We pull up to the parking lot and the first thing I notice is cars.  Lots and lots of cars.  Uh oh.  Maybe I underestimated the number of shoppers who also uttered "what could possibly go wrong" before they left the house destined for the pet store as well.  Just getting the dogs out of the back of the SUV was an adventure, as they spooked and bucked at every passing car in the parking lot.  We managed to half walk/half drag them to the store entrance where the "whoosh" of the opening automatic doors turns Bodie to stone, refusing to move another inch.  When that dog decides he is not going, it's like trying to pull a barge across the desert.  Luckily Leila dances past him which  gave him the courage to at least stand up, which is all the break we needed to drag him forward.



Forward momentum turned out to not be a problem seconds later, when the throng of people in line at the checkout stand, combined with the pet adoption set-up right by the front doors with barking dogs and excited children sent both pups into overdrive and they bolted forward at a gallop, vaulting my kids behind them.  With ears back and eyes like saucers, Bodie charged down the main aisle, making a hard right at Parakeets and Goldfish, then cutting back through Hamsters and Lizard Goods.  My ten year old daughter was holding on for dear life. 

Meanwhile, Leila was burning a path through Cat Food and Kitty Litter, when my seven year old son finally brought her to a halt in front of the Martha Stewart Pet Accessories display (Really?  Martha Stewart??)  All this time, Mom Of The Year here was pushing the empty shopping cart and snapping pictures while my kids tried to wrestle the pups.  Shortly after, we were joined by my daughter and Bodie, the former trying to hold back tears where Bodie had wrenched her wrist in his Kentucky Derby qualifying run.  I sat her down on a 40 pound bag of Beneful so she could catch her breath and gave control of the cart to my son while I took the reins of these ridiculous racehorses.  I held them tight on short leashes to let them know we were not going to have a repeat performance of that little number, thank you very much. 

By now the dogs had figured out that not only was no one in the store trying to kill them, but there was some serious good-smelling stuff in here!  They investigated the rawhide bone display and marveled at the squeaky-toy aisle.  By now some shoppers had stopped to give them a pet and tell them how lovely they were, and the two of them ate it up.  They were officially rock stars now, and they knew it!  False modesty be damned!

By now I had secured more dog food into the cart and the kids had picked out some new dog toys to add to the 40 or so already at home and we made our way to the check stand.  That is when a store clerk told us to wait, she needed to get one of the store's dog trainers over here.  I paled for a minute...what had we done?  Okay, my dogs were both the canine equivalent of the Tasmanian Devil but hey, they are just puppies and this is their first field trip.  At least they didn't pee all over the place.  Then a pretty girl named Sarah appeared with a binder in her hand and was talking to another clerk about the difference between a couple of dog breeds.  She looked at Bodie and Leila and beamed.  "I've never seen them as puppies before!" she said and came over and made a big fuss over the pups who licked her furiously.  Bodie rolled over onto his back, exposing his boy-parts to the ladies (charming) and Leila peed all over everyone (charming times two!)  Then Sarah explained that she had a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog, which is the short-haired cousin of the Bernese.  From behind the counter emerged an enormous Bodie look-alike, who calmly sauntered over and sat down.  I was speechless.  Bodie and Leila looked up at this creature like he was a Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon.  It was amazing (and just the slightest bit daunting) to see what my two would someday look like.  This was Buddy, the three year old Greater Swiss.  My two kids couldn't get enough of him, scratching him behind the ears and under his chin.  Then Buddy lied and the floor and rolled over, legs akimbo just like Bodie had done moments before.  Good God, they ARE related!  Sarah explained that she had gotten Buddy as a rescue when he was two years old and already a mighty size.  We tried in vain to get a good photo of the three of them together, Buddy sitting patiently while my two danced a jig around him.  Seeing this wonderful fellow was worth the trip and all the hilarity that ensued.



The pups with Buddy



We made our way back to the SUV and heaved in a 40 pound bag of dog food and two 40 pound wiggly puppies.  We climbed into the car where my seven year old exclaimed with a giant exhale, "Well, that was an adventure!" 

That's putting it mildly, kid!