Moving On Up (But Not Down)

The writers of the puppy training book I bought obviously do not think a puppy bigger than ten pounds exists on this planet.  They cheerily tell me to not let my puppy have run of the whole house in the beginning,  and to confine him or her to their crate whenever possible.  Okay, I understand the need for a pup not to run pell-mell throughout the entire house, but when your puppy is the size of a Shetland pony colt and you have not one but two of them, you would need to buy a crate the approximate size of a Sears tool shed and then have that much free room in your house to put it.  If I lived in a Beverly Hills mansion, this would not be an issue.  But I don't live there.  I have a comfy suburban 2,700 square foot two story house with an adequate-sized laundry room on the first floor that now doubles as a makeshift dog crate.  It works for the time being (except on laundry day) but as each day goes by, it becomes readily apparent that the laundry-room-as-crate is a temporary fix.  The sooner these puppies get used to the rest of the house and don't pee in every corner of it, the better.

We have now gotten to the point where the pups are roaming the first floor freely, except at night.  For their own safety (and my sanity) I have kept a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs to keep them from going up there.  The kids' rooms are in a constant state of upheaval, looking like a very isolated California earthquake hits there daily.  Not the best place for a toy-chewing, sock-ripping nosey puppy to explore.  But the dogs see us go up and down there all day and are quite curious as to what exactly we are hiding from them.  There is obviously a gross injustice afoot and they aim to get to the bottom of it.  So they decide to use the most evil, diabolical,  defenseless weapon they have in their arsenal:

Giant brown puppy eyes.

I got up one morning to let them out for their morning constitutional, and after enthusiastic greetings were exchanged and the morning poop was picked up, I climbed over the baby gate in order to go upstairs and get the kids up for school.  For some reason I stopped and turned around, only to see two very sad, confused faces staring up at me.  How could I have made such a fuss of them a minute ago and now abandon them?  At least that's what they thought.  Ears wilted and giant shiny eyes the size of hubcaps glistened up at me.  I was losing my willpower rapidly.  Then Leila figured it might help (couldn't hurt!) if she uttered a solemn "Wooooooo....." in my direction.  That did me in.  That, and the idea of how hilarious it would be to wake up my not-a-morning-person 7-year old by having an energized, tongue-wagging barrel of fuzz leap onto his bed at 6:45 a.m.  I pulled down the baby gate and set it aside, opening up this whole new world to the pups to explore and conquer.  Welcome to The Stairs and all its magical wonder!!!!

They were less than impressed.

They sat there staring at me blankly, not sure of exactly what their action item was here.  Leila looked at the stairs and then back at me as if to say "You want me to climb that?"  Bodie took advantage of her hesitation and pounded up a few stairs, stopped, and then realized he was stuck.  He then managed to make it to the top where he sniffed around and then proudly looked back down at his sister, laying down the challenge.  Not to be outdone, Leila tentatively worked her way from step to step until she got to the second-to-last riser where Bodie pounced on her like only a brother can.  She managed to sidestep him and work her way to the top where she whipped around and shot him a look that would freeze fire.  Then they both finally realized they were in a whole new realm, and commenced exploring.  And yes, one of them (they won't say who) had to commemorate the occasion by leaving a puddle at the top of the stairs to mark this historic occasion.   Gee, thanks.

After the kids were awakened and silliness expended, we all headed downstairs for breakfast.  The pups were not sure just exactly how to do the staircase-shuffle in reverse.  Bodie took a tentative step onto the first riser, changed his mind and backed up again.  Leila just sat there, giving her best Paris Hilton look, waiting for someone to carry her down.  Tipping the scales at about 37 pounds now, that ain't gonna happen anytime soon!  We watched as both dogs attempted to make their way down, hopping from riser to riser with ears flapping and feet together.  Not exactly graceful, they looked like two bulldozers on a motocross track.  Bodie managed to make it to the bottom where he then turned and gleefully hopped back up in order to torture his sister who was only partially down.  She was not amused. 

Bodie hopped down again as if to demonstrate. Hey, I'm getting the hang of this!  Leila got about half way down and then sat down, refusing to budge.  She looked like a castle gargoyle, with her backside on a riser and her front feet on the step below that one, glaring down at us at this insult to her dignity.  At our coaxing (and the threat of Bodie bounding back up to harass her again), she finally bounced to the bottom, where Bodie gave her a congratulatory kiss before pounding back up the steps again for another assault.  Leila dutifully followed the kids into the kitchen, pretending she had never heard of stairs or the mystery that lies at the top.

Since that day, the pups have gone up the stairs a number of times, and the downhill climb is always the same knuckle-biter scenario.  Every time I point the video camera on them to film the hilarity, Leila stops and sits, refusing to be part of this demeaning charade.  I know the time will come soon enough where they take the stairs two-by-two and are up and down in mere seconds, especially when I don't want them up there.  But in the meantime, it's like watching a toddler take their first tentative steps.  It's funny, awkward and cute, but you also know it's the start of them growing up, and they will never be at this silly stage again.  Enjoy it while you can still roll your eyes and smile about it.

Stay tuned....